Local woman’s Trump impressions cure boyfriend’s premature ejaculation issues.

August 29, 2017

By The Whitechapel Whelk

A 22-year-old woman from Whitechapel claims to have put an end to her boyfriend’s chronic premature ejaculation problem by adopting the voice and mannerisms of American President, Donald Trump, during their lovemaking.

Tracy Dell, a manicurist, told us: “My boyfriend, Toby, used to suffer terribly from premature ejaculation. Most of the time it was over before it even got started to be perfectly honest.

“It got so bad he once ejaculated in the supermarket when I bought a bottle of wine and suggested having a glass or two later and an early night.

“It was only after I hit upon the idea of impersonating Donald Trump during sex that things improved dramatically.

“These days, whenever I think he’s about to let himself down, I start spouting right-wing gibberish while putting my thumb and forefinger together.

“I then follow this up by making a kind of fish face and begin waving my arms about.

“The only problem we’ve encountered thus far occurred last Saturday night when he completely lost his erection after I’d spotted the telltale signs of his impending climax and blurted out that I was going to scrap Obamacare, drain the swamp and build a huge wall along the Mexican border”

If proven to be effective, Ms Dell’s method could finally see an end to the age-old practice of men delaying an impending climax by thinking about football or the German Chancellor, Angela Merkel.

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