The-Sweeney-2012-Ray-Winstone-Ben-Drew-Plan-B
Sorted! Two ‘grid cockneys’ pictured last night practising for The Monaco Grand Prix

 

Following their decision to scrap the traditional ‘grid girls’ this season, F1 bosses have announced, that in the 2018 season, cars will line up on the starting grid alongside men who were born within the sound of the bells of St Mary Le Bow church in the City of London.

These ‘grid cockneys’ will still hold umbrellas to shade drivers as they sit in the cockpit, but instead of the traditional skimpy clothing that made their predecessors such a colourful and popular spectacle at races throughout the season, the men will wear West Ham football shirts, colourful neckerchiefs, Levi Sta-Prest trousers and trilby hats.

Formula 1 CEO, Chase Carey, welcomed the move last night: “We think it’s a great idea. These chirpy London lads will be a colourful addition to the grid, and as long as they don’t start selling stolen watches to the drivers or scrapping with each other in the paddock, we believe they’ll be a welcome replacement for the girls, who, in all fairness, were a bit old hat and were coming in for some hammer from the feminist movement for having their arses and bangers on display”

It is understood that men from the city of Liverpool were also considered, but bosses decided that ‘Grid Scousers’ were far too likely to steal the cars’ wheels in the pit lane and leave them up on bricks.

You can read more from the Whitechapel Whelk at the webpage by CLICKING HERE

featured image Formula !